Dear Yogesh,

As a nurse manager, how can I address a master 's-prepared registered nurse who is sleeping at their workstation, as it seems unprofessional? In my previous management roles, I noticed that finding an employee sleeping in the workplace could lead to termination. Here, however, the individual does not seem to differentiate between resting in a designated break room and dozing off at their desk.

Signed, Mahesh

Dear Mahesh,

What you’re experiencing is a classic gap situation: there is a discrepancy between what you expect and what you see occurring. Thinking about accountability discussions in this way can help defuse tension in what might be a frustrating scenario.

When I ask others how they feel when hearing phrases like “talk about a problem” or “address an issue,” many respond with an "ugh." While that isn't a strong emotion, it conveys a sentiment. So, the first step is to recognize this as a straightforward gap between your expectations and reality. As their manager, it’s your responsibility to identify this gap and collaborate with the employee to bridge it. Here are three suggestions to guide you.

Master Your NarrativeI must admit, I created a narrative about your situation. It seems you have formed a negative view of this nurse, perhaps because they're “master’s-prepared.” My mind jumped to the conclusion: “They should know better!”

You will communicate much more effectively if you can suspend your judgments. Even if you feel it’s common knowledge that sleeping at a workstation is inappropriate, consider that this nurse may have received different training or never been given feedback on this behavior before. Silence can sometimes be mistaken for acceptance.

Address It EarlyYou haven’t mentioned how frequently this occurs. I hope it has only happened once or maybe twice, as that’s the right moment to address it. Picture addressing a new employee the first time they fall asleep at their workstation; you could gently wake them and say, “We encourage all our nurses to rest in the break room, not at their stations. Let me show you where it is.” Tackling the issue early on helps with the onboarding process and sets them up for success.

If you allow this behavior to persist without intervention, two things may occur. First, your frustration will likely grow, feeding your negative narrative. Second, the issue will seem larger than it actually is, turning a minor incident into a long-standing problem. Delaying your response increases the likelihood of embarrassment and defensiveness from the person involved.

Have and Communicate Good IntentWhen you apply the first two tips, the third will become much easier. Before engaging in any conversation about the gap, take a moment to reflect: what do I genuinely want for this person? Consider their needs rather than what you want from them. This shift in perspective is crucial. We typically approach these discussions because the gap causes us concern; we are acutely aware of how their actions affect us. The key question is: how do their actions impact them?

What is it that you want for them, and how does communicating that help? You might say something simple like, “I want you to thrive here, which is why I need to discuss this with you.”

When you truly care about someone and they sense your concern, conversations about gaps transform from criticism to opportunities for improvement.