Dear Anil,

You’re in a situation where the chief people officer’s separate communications with you and your director are hindering collaboration and shared understanding. Your subtle attempts to address the issue, such as copying the director in emails, have not been effective. It’s time to move from indirect hints to a candid and respectful conversation about the problem.

Here’s a three-step guide to effectively address the situation while preserving the relationship:

1. Be Clear

To resolve the issue, articulate the concern explicitly and positively frame your intent. Clearly identify the problem (the communication pattern) and explain why addressing it is important for collaboration and project success.

Example:
“I’d like to discuss a communication pattern I’ve noticed that might be impacting our collaboration. This project is important to all of us, and I think we can achieve better results if we communicate on shared email threads, ensuring a common understanding. I’ve observed that some emails are sent to me or the director individually, and I wanted to talk about how we can approach this differently.”

Being direct minimizes misunderstandings and sets the stage for a constructive dialogue.

2. Be Curious

Avoid framing the conversation as a battle of right versus wrong. Instead, adopt a collaborative mindset focused on understanding and exploring different approaches. People often act in ways that align with their core motives—such as prioritizing performance, people, or process. The chief people officer may believe her current method serves the project’s needs.

Start with curiosity about her perspective:
“I’m curious about your approach to separate communications. What do you find effective about it? What does it help you accomplish?”

This question opens the door for her to share her reasoning. Understanding her motives can help uncover why she prefers this method and what needs she’s trying to meet.

3. Be Creative

Move beyond “my way vs. your way” by brainstorming solutions that combine the best of both approaches. Suggest trial runs of new communication methods to find common ground. This allows flexibility and avoids making immediate, permanent changes.

For example, propose:
“What if we tried a daily ten-minute huddle or regular check-ins to align and ensure we’re all working with the same information? We could try it for two weeks and then evaluate how it’s working.”

This collaborative, experimental approach promotes teamwork and builds mutual trust.

A Long-Term Perspective

Beyond resolving this specific issue, view this conversation as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with the chief people officer. Projects may come and go, but professional relationships often endure. Focus on building trust and improving collaboration for future engagements.

Conclusion
To address the lack of shared communication effectively, move from subtle hints to direct dialogue. Clearly state the issue, express curiosity about her perspective, and work together to find creative solutions. By approaching the conversation with clarity, curiosity, and collaboration, you can not only resolve the immediate challenge but also build a stronger foundation for working relationships in the future.

Yogesh