(A real-life example of challenge with one’s daughter)

Here’s how you might deal with such an individual:

• Ask for permission: Before expressing your concerns, ask if she’s open to hearing your feelings. You might say, “I’m really worried about you, and I’d love to share how I feel—would that be okay?”

• Share your feelings with care: When you do talk to her, explain how you feel in a way that focuses on your own emotions, not her choices. For example, “I’ve noticed that you’ve been distancing yourself from us, and it makes me worried about you. I just want you to know that I’m always here if you need me.”

• Acknowledge autonomy: It’s important to communicate that you respect her decisions, even if you don’t agree with them. Let her know that you’re there for her, no matter what, and that you’ll love her no matter what choices she makes.

Your Own Boundaries

Lastly, it’s crucial to protect your own emotional well-being as well. If you find yourself being manipulated or coerced into tolerating behavior that harms you or your relationship with your daughter, don’t hesitate to express and hold your boundaries. You may need to distance yourself from the situation in certain moments to maintain your own emotional health and clarity.

You can maintain respect for her choices while ensuring you aren’t compromising your own peace in the process. If her boyfriend's behavior is affecting your relationship with her, it’s okay to express your discomfort with it, but again, it should come from a place of respect and care, not judgment or confrontation.

I truly hope these suggestions help you navigate this challenging time. It’s clear you want to support your daughter, and your love for her is so evident. I wish you both strength as you move through this.

Sincerely,
YS

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