Dear Yogesh,

I am amazed people let slip off their shoulders. I can't put it down, sometimes insomnia and unable to focus on my other tasks. I often have this situation when someone is upset and puts me down, usually an external client. How can I ensure these interactions don't ruin my day or week?

Signed,

Bhavna

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Dear Bhavna,

I genuinely empathize with you. When even the most minor portion of our lives feels uncomfortable or out of control, everything can darken. I've been through it more than I can remember.

This is meant to imply that everything is only sometimes simple or pleasant. It suggests that when we worry or whine, it is usually because there is a bell ringing saying something is upsetting us and that we have not yet replied to. The world is fine—it is not overwhelmed or stressed- Take a look outside the window to see that. The problem is how we interact with the outside world.

For instance, if something is bothering me and I want it to stop, I have to figure it out with a why and what I can do to fix it, and then equally commit to the performance. If I know nothing I can do about it, I must accept it as part of my business environment. This is known as strategic thinking. In other words, what should I do next if there is something I can do to explain, end, or lessen the tension I am experiencing? This is what I need to define and then act accordingly.

Responding this way may not create the world you want, but it will help alleviate the feelings of talking about yourself.

Lowering standards is a fool-proof way to reduce stress. What if X, Y, or Z happens? I will make it worthwhile. People you know who "let things roll off their shoulders" might belong to that group.

However, if you are unlikely to lower your standards, the best relief (at least in symptoms) will come from reviewing and reflecting on your commitments and values and the challenges you face. You need to see your situation from a more significant and higher perspective. You don't do this in your head. As you may have heard me say, your mind is a lousy office.

Think about these questions and write your answers somewhere: Why are you on this planet? what is your purpose? In terms of your values, what matters to you? What is your vision for a successful future? What must you do to realize this vision? What do you need to keep? What projects do you need to identify and complete? What's your next move?

Thinking about these things for myself helps me accept others are doing something I don't like. I'm more empathetic when I realize that everyone is trying to make the most of what they know and where they are. I discovered this about myself.

I apologize if this answer to your question may be more complicated than you expected. If I have a more straightforward workaround, I'll be happy to provide it. Welcome to this lesson called life.

All the best,

Yogesh

Reference Link: The above is an adaptation of a blog by David Allen on August 11, 2021. https://cruciallearning.com/blog/dont-let-it-bring-you-down/