A real-life experience of a friend

A few nights ago, life felt strange enough. Offices and businesses were closed. We were spending more time in our homes, and the general unease kept us glued to news updates. Yet, I was able to sleep, with plans to start the day by hitting the treadmill and then writing this note to you. Everything was going according to plan until 7:09 am. As I neared the end of my workout, a  5.7 magnitude earthquake shook my five-story apartment building in Salt Lake City, Utah. The elevators stopped working. Approximately 17,000 of my neighbors lost power. My phone blared an urgent alert warning me to avoid driving and prepare for aftershocks. So, what’s next?

In light of these uncertain times, your friends at VitalSmarts want to offer both our support and some advice for the days ahead. Our thoughts are with those affected by the virus, and we hope for a brief and mild experience for everyone. We also extend our heartfelt sympathy to anyone who is facing more severe challenges.

Research suggests that, while pain and loss are inevitable during times like these, a significant portion of our suffering is avoidable. We can’t control the viruses or earthquakes, but we have control over how they affect us. I’d like to offer a few practical tips that can improve how you experience these difficult days.

1. Establish a Gratitude Ritual

 I won’t dive into all the research that demonstrates how gratitude boosts mood and well-being. When a crisis strikes, our focus tends to narrow on the threat—whether it’s the potential loss of food, shelter, health, or loved ones. Our brains are wired to focus on these risks, so we must intentionally shift our attention to what we still have and even what we might gain through hardship. I encourage you to create and practice a daily gratitude ritual. Personally, as I reflected, I realized this is the first time in history that the entire world has united against a common enemy. This crisis offers an opportunity for global cooperation and understanding, helping us recognize that borders are just lines in the sand and we are all connected.

2. Learn to Boss Yourself Around

Many of us are discovering how much we relied on external structures—bosses, deadlines, and set work hours. These external forces pushed us to stay productive. But with those structures now removed, we face a choice: we can either become our own boss or risk letting our productivity slip. The solution is simple: give yourself orders. Create a list of what you need to accomplish each day, and hold yourself accountable. Checklists are a way of communicating with yourself, setting expectations and rewarding yourself with that satisfying checkmark when tasks are completed. It’s a self-generated reward system that can drive motivation.

3. Create a Self-Care List

If you find you now have more discretionary time, use some of it to take care of yourself. As you learn to boss yourself around, also be the kind of boss who takes care of overall well-being. Make a list of small, meaningful rituals you can incorporate into your day to keep yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually healthy. Well-being is rooted in aligning habits with values, and if you care about something but don’t act on it, you’ll experience a sense of dissonance. Use this time to cultivate renewal in all the areas that matter to you.

4. Create Intentional Connections

 Workplace structures often dictate much of our social interactions, placing us in contact with others based on the team we’re on, the projects we’re assigned, or even where we sit. These structures create connections we might otherwise not have made. Without the enforced social framework of an office, we’re vulnerable to feelings of loneliness and disconnection. This morning, after the earthquake, I received a call from my longtime business partner, Al Switzler. He simply asked how I was, shared some family news, and wished me well. The call lasted just 4 minutes, but it left me feeling connected and supported. As we work remotely, we need to create these connections ourselves. Make a list of five people to check in with each day—friends, family, or colleagues. These brief interactions, offering praise, support, or a simple check-in, are vital to maintaining our sense of connection.

5. Stop Ruminating

In the aftermath of major crises, like 26/11, I became consumed by the news. I obsessively listened to radio stations for hours, hearing the same information over and over. The longer I listened, the more anxious I became. This is the perfect recipe for anxiety: a novel threat, paired with imperfect information, stirred together repeatedly. It’s natural to feel anxious, but once you’ve done everything you can to stay informed and safe, it’s time to stop stirring. Life is uncertain, and there will never be complete clarity. The odds of contracting COVID-19 are lower than other risks we’ve faced, but we don’t obsess over those. You lived your life before the virus, and you will continue to live with uncertainty. Stop ruminating and focus on what you can control.

YS

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