“Nudging” Your Partner to Change

23 May 2025
Yogesh Sood

Here's some guidance on how to approach this in a way that could lead to more sustainable change.

1. Set the Example

One of the most powerful ways to encourage someone to adopt a behavior is to live it yourself. Aristotle said, "Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion," and this is especially true when it comes to habits like GTD. If you're already implementing GTD practices in your own life and showing the positive results, it’s much more likely to spark interest in your partner. Your example will speak volumes, even if it’s subtle.

2. Build Respect

Before addressing the issue, make sure you're in the right frame of mind. If you're feeling frustrated, take a step back and reflect. The issue is your problem—it’s your frustration with how things are unfolding. If you can shift your perspective to see that your partner’s behavior is their own choice, it will help you approach the conversation with respect rather than irritation.

When you do talk about it, be clear about why it matters—not just to you, but to your partner’s well-being or growth. For example, GTD might help alleviate stress or free up time for other important things. If you focus on how this will benefit them (rather than just you), your concerns will come across as caring.

3. Be Bold with Compassion

Once you’ve gotten your mindset right, speak directly—but with compassion. Avoid subtle hints or nudges. Instead, express your concerns clearly and respectfully. Here’s an example of how to frame the conversation:

"I know this might be difficult to hear, but I want to talk about something because I care about you and our relationship. I’ve noticed that some of the things we discussed, like using GTD, could really help us both stay more organized and less stressed. I want to share why I think it’s important."

This approach focuses on your respect and care while being clear about the behavior that’s impacting you both.

4. Keep the Dialogue Going

Once you’ve shared your thoughts, be sure to ask your partner for their perspective and listen without judgment. It might take time for them to process what you’ve said, so keep the conversation open. Be willing to revisit the topic in the future if necessary, but avoid pushing too hard for an immediate change.

5. Find Joy in Their Strengths

Lastly, remember to appreciate your partner’s strengths and contributions. Change takes time, and not every suggestion will be embraced right away. By focusing on the positive aspects of your partner and continuing to improve your own practices, you can build a more supportive environment for growth, whether or not they fully adopt GTD.

Ultimately, while you can encourage your partner to adopt new behaviors, it’s important to respect their autonomy and allow them to come to their own conclusions. With patience and understanding, you may find that the changes you’re hoping for come in their own time.

Yogesh